One time when Jordan and I were out shopping we saw beautiful flowers in what seemed like every store. I hinted ALL DAY about how much I’d love some, but Jordan did not pick up on those hints. By the end of the day I was flowerless and mad at him and he had no idea why. When I explained he said, “oh if you wanted flowers you should’ve just told me and we would’ve bought them! Lets get some flowers.” And of course I said, “No, I don’t want them now!” Poor guy. The reality is, that I was being unfair and he really meant it. He would’ve been happy to get some flowers for our home if I would’ve just communicated with him in a straight forward way, but sometimes we just want to feel known and understood without having to ask, right?
We found a tool that has been a game changer in understanding how we feel loved and how to best love each other. If you’re unfamiliar with The Five Love Languages or haven’t taken the test to find yours out yet, check out this post! This is something we’ve studied and used since early on in our relationship and, while we still have our moments, it’s prevented us from a lot of hurt and disappointment about the other person’s inability to read our mind! Knowing each other’s Love Languages helps us to be intentional about making one another feel loved and to not waste time on things that aren’t important to the other person. It also gives us a common language to communicate our deepest and sometimes messy feelings with each other. Some of our biggest misunderstandings have been in times when we were not considering our spouses Love Languages and some of our greatest moments in marriage have been when we were thoughtful about speaking to the other’s heart.
We recently took the assessment together again and were surprised to find out that both of our Love Languages had changed! This was an awesome conversation starter for us and a reminder about loving each other well. So I jotted our Love Languages down on some paper and hung it on the fridge. Every day I see the list of what is meaningful to Jordan’s heart and I’m challenged to speak his language and make him feel loved – what a privilege! Want to do the same? I created this resource to help you and your loved one take advantage of The Love Languages tool and love each other better!
Here’s my challenge to you:
1- Print out your favorite template.
2- Take The Five Love Languages assessment with your significant other.
3- Write them down and ask each other, “when do you feel most loved?”
4- Hang it up somewhere you’ll see them every day!
5- LOVE LOVE LOVE!
And if you were wondering, Jordan sent flowers to me at work the next week. 😉 (He’s too good!) We’ve come a long way in balancing communicating our needs well and anticipating each other’s using The Love Languages tool. It’s not something that just happens once you know them, though. You have to choose to act. I hope this resource brings growth to your relationships and a little extra happy to your home!